Mehr
A Muslim man is responsible for paying his wife her mehr. This is a right given to women by Allah. The 4th verse of the surah Nisa (the Woman) commands:
“And give the women (on marriage) their mehr pleasantly as a free gift.”
If the husband does not give his wife the mehr in compliance with the commands, then his wife keeps the right to demand and get it by applying to legal institutions. Till the moment she obtains the mehr all the rights given to her by the marriage are vested and she has the right not to accomplish her marital duties. (Ömer Nasuhi BİLMEN,Hukukı İslamiyye Kamusu, İstanbul 1967, c.2, s.167.)
If the mehr is settled by the wife and husband or their representatives freely, it is called mehr-i müsemmâ. It has no limitations. The amount agreed to be paid in cash earlier is paid in cash, while the rest is paid afterwards. It can also be decided for the whole amount to be given in cash and immediately. The man is not given the right to get intimate with his wife without giving the agreed cash amount; unless the wife permits to. The remaining amount is paid to the woman later on the decided date, in case of divorce or in case of death. The inheritance of the dead husband is distributed according to the regulations after the payment of mehr debt.
The man is not allowed to pay the divorced woman even a single coin less than the decided amount. The Glorified Allah commands:
“But if you want to leave (one) wife and have another instead of her, take not the least bit of it back even if you had given the former one heaps of treasure for mehr: Would you take it by slandering and manifest sin?” (Nisa, 4/20)
Even though no mehr was agreed on, during the marriage act, the marriage is accepted and the right of mehr arises automatically. The right of mehr arises even though the woman agreed on not receiving any mehr during the marriage act. This type of mehr is called mehr-i misil. The amount and the payment conditions of this mehr is established by considering the mehr agreement of an equivalent woman. The equivalence is specified by the following conditions: the father and relatives of the woman, her age, beauty, wealth, cleverness, religiousness, having married or not before, education and knowledge, good behaviour and having children or not. (BİLMEN, Kamus, c: 2, s: 119) The mehr taken by a woman who has the same qualities as her is this woman’s mehr (mehr-i misli).
The proof that the marriage act is regular even though no mehr has been agreed is the 236th verse of the surah Baqara (The Cow). There, Glorified Allah commands:
“There is no blame on you if you divorce women without touching them until their mehr is fixed. Give them something they will benefit from. The wealthy according to his means and the straitened in circumstances according to his means, provision them if you want to behave respecting the good. This is a duty on the good-doers.”
The verse mentions divorce with no mehr decided, yet. As divorce is being mentioned, it means that the marriage has been established and this act is regular.
At this point, it is important to emphasize that mehr and dowry are two different things. While dowry and the ‘feeding right’ are paid to the woman’s mother, father, siblings or relatives, mehr is totally paid to the woman, herself. Noone has the right to demand any amount of mehr. Islam has commanded the mehr to be mandatory and has absolutely prohibited dowry.
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