My husband does not like going to iftar dinners in Ramadan because of very little time before tarawih and because he`s a Hafiz Qur'an so he likes to go to the same masjid to listen to the Qur'an from the start to the end. I have to decline many invitations, which I do very politely. Even though it`s not our intention, but lately I`ve been very disturbed by the thought that it might be considered arrogance on our side by other people. Please let me know in the light of Qur'an and hadith if we're doing something wrong.
Muslims have six rights upon other Muslims:
“When you meet him greet him; When he invites you, respond to him; when he seeks counsel, give him advice; when he sneezes and says Alhamdulillah, say “Yarhamokallah” to him; when he is sick, visit him; when he dies, follow his funeral” (Tirmidhi, Adab,1; Nasai, Janaiz, 52; Ibn Majah, Janaiz, 1)
“When one of you invites his brother, he must attend whether it is a wedding feast, or something similar.” (Abu Dawud, Et’ime, 1)
In case it is possible, you and your husband can attend the iftar and then your husband may request permission for the prayer and leave.