Islam and the Quran

Running Background Checks on Suitors

Question: You may be aware that nowadays, many fornicators propose marriage to decent, religious women, disguising as righteous and God-fearing to gain these women's approval. Therefore, running background checks on suitors has become a norm for many conservative families. In a small community where everyone knows every other, the background check is not an issue as it is easy to ask around about the manners and behaviors of the suitor, however, in a very large community of expatriates, this becomes almost impossible. This brings many young Muslims to the following question: Is it permissible to hack into the social media account of the suitor to find evidence of fornication? Is it permissible to create a fake account of a handsome-looking man/woman and communicate with the suitor over social media to test their willingness to enter into a forbidden relationship? If you find that these methods are not allowed in Islam, can you please guide us to the proper methods of running conclusive background checks on such imposters who could ruin an innocent girl's marital life and even transmit STDs to her after marriage?

A legitimate right cannot be obtained through illegitimate methods. Even in today’s laws, illegally obtained information cannot be used as legal evidence. Hacking into someone’s account or creating fake accounts to test people are not legitimate, and therefore cannot be used to run background checks.

A girl may not be able to do this background check on her own. This is natural.  It is not in vain that The Almighty God requires the supervision of girls’ families for the validity of marriages. The background check is the duty of the girl’s family:

In case of a marriage proposal, the girl must tell her family about the suitor. She can ask the suitor simple questions about his work, workplace and house, and inform her family of these. The parents or uncles, brothers, etc. must go and investigate if this information is correct. They can even see the friends or colleagues of the suitor to learn more about him. If the suitor is honest with his intentions and will to marry her, he would understand this. This is the natural and essential way of running the background checks.

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