Islam and the Quran

Do men have a right to command to their wives?

Question: Do women have a responsibility to obey her husbands? I have heard that it is not compulsory for a woman to obey her husband when he is not giving her expenses. Because Allah has made husbands superior due to their responsibility of spending money for their families. Is it still necessary for a woman to obey him in this situation?

A wife is not a servant of her husband. She is his wife.

A husband does not command to his wife, he advises her about certain issues.

Allah the Almighty commands:

“Men protect and maintain women by their capabilities which Allah has bestowed upon them and by spending of their wealth. Good women are obedient (to Allah), and guardians of the privacy by the guarding of Allah. For those women you worry about deception; warn them, leave them alone in their beds and (finally) beat them. If they obey you, do not seek another way against them. Allah is High and Great.” (The Women 4:34)

Men are protectors and maintainers of their wives. This responsibility of men, inevitably brings along a responsibility for women to acknowledge their husbands as their protectors and maintainers. Therefore, men do have some rights over women that include requiring them to be in home in certain hours, adjusting the boundaries of regular expenses, deciding certain issues of their children. This is because they are to be firstly held responsible for the protection and maintenance of their family.

Men do not have a right to prevent their wives from seeing her relatives, or to require from them something that has nothing to do with the protection or well-being of the family.

Allah the Almighty commands:

“(…) Live with your wives in acceptable terms. (…)” (The Women 4:19)

If one of the parties ignore or omit to do their duties, the other party should try to learn the reasons and solve the problem. If the woman ignore her duties, man should warn and advise her (see 4:34 above). If the man ignore his duties, woman should try to solve the problem and reconcile.

Allah the Almighty commands:

“If a woman worries of a deception or an aversion from her husband, it is not wrong for them to reconcile with one another (by compromising on their rights), for the reconciliation is better, and (because) the human soul is always prone to selfishness. So do good and guard yourselves (against evil), Allah is all aware of what you do.” (The Women 4:128)

It is not right to retaliate on mistreatment. Couples should always be peace-oriented if they want to stay as couples.

Add comment